The video is the soundtrack for this blog post. Play and listen before, during, or after reading for full effect...
Some might have thought it strange that I dedicated such a romantic song to my dog who passed away last week… there is a story behind it.
This particular song has become one of my obsession songs. I’ve always had obsession songs, since I was a child. I would hear a song for the first time, and it would immediately begin to change me, to change my life. I would listen to it repeatedly for hours on end, every day for days, or even weeks. I would write down the lyrics and analyze them. I would study the mannerisms and facial expressions of the artist singing it. I would memorize every word, every guitar strum, every piano ding, every beat. I would begin singing it around the house and the yard. I would begin to move my body to the rhythm. When I was alone, I would full-on dance to it, in every natural interpretive movement I felt as I engrossed myself in the blasting, repetitive song. Eventually, it would get to the point that I didn’t even have to play it anymore. It was always playing in my head. I would LIVE in the song. It would become my life, and life would become it.
This song was playing through my head as we buried my dog, Sirius. It is the soundtrack to the day I lost him. It will always remind me of him, and this time in my life.
Thank you, Fred, for introducing this song to me, for helping me bury Sirius as it played continuously in my mind, and for playing it for me so that I could express the depths of my grief through music…
I am kind of a sensitive person, guys. I’ve always been that way. It has always made relationships harder and social anxiety stronger. It has always fueled my art, whether writing, or singing, dancing, painting, or even building a website. Music influences everything I do. It paints the colors onto the canvas. I feel so lucky to have any role whatsoever in the making and execution of such an artform. Music has literally saved my life, and has influenced me in immeasurable ways.
If you look closely in some videos, this one in particular, you can see my face scrunch up in sadness. Sometimes you’ll even catch me letting out a long sigh during the guitar break or at the end. That is pain. I am expressing the pure unadulterated pain in my heart. There’s a lot in there. So much I can only let it out in small increments at a time. One song at a time.
Image by Виктория Бородинова from Pixabay