Deep Cuts

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 "There’s the stereo that comforted me, that saved me. It played the songs that got me to hold on for one more day. It reached out to me from beyond that terrible place where my invisibility was choking the life out of me. It’s the place where I learned literally hundreds of songs by heart. "

"Anyone who has ever held their chest like that knows what I’m talking about. THAT PAIN. It’s so deep and so intense that you almost can’t feel it. It’s like that part of your body just becomes detached, as you observe an insurmountable feeling in the center of your chest. No settling thoughts can reach it. It is unreachable. It is too painful to touch. It grips the other parts of your body, tugging them into its black hole center. Your world revolves around that pain."

"It’s like a love affair. I am one with this song. I am living it. It plays in the background of my mind for many hours a day. I move to its rhythm, I catch myself humming and singing it, or swaying my arms like a conductor as I walk from room to room. I am living this song. It is influencing me so much that it is cocreating me and my life."